Yesterday I realized an important fact in my relationship with my husband. When we were saying goodbye to my sweet mother-in-law, my husband suddenly commented that we can’t do much in the mornings because I am not a morning person, which of course made me mad. So I asked him “ If I am not a morning person why I would wake up, 5:30am every morning so just he has everything ready to go to work and get everyone going? His reaction was to try to take back what he said, telling me how happy he was that I do that and how proud he feels that he has a wife like me that takes care of him. Even though I just couldn’t take those words from my head, and constantly repeated all the way back home (almost 3 hour drive). He kept saying that he didn’t mean to say it that way. In other words, those words weren’t expressing his actual point.
The truth is that I am not a morning person, not just because I don’t like to wake up in the mornings, it’s just that I am a danger to the society when I just wake up lol. English is my third language and all of them get messed up in the mornings, so it’s hard for me to express I want to say and harder for to other people understand me. Second, I feel that when I just wake up my body isn’t completely connected with my head, like for real. One day I meant to put the pot on the stove to boil water, but instead I put a paper plate with water. I always confuse sugar with salt, cinnamon with cumin and so many other things. Once I get completely up and I realize what I have done, I feel guilty and horrible. I have done so many things that I realize that can be seriously dangerously.
In conclusion, I told my husband that this wasn’t the first time he has said things that hurt me because the way I interpreting them. It was then when he stopped arguing and sat in silence for a while and then said “I wish I could prove to you how wrong I was every time this happens”, so that was when I realized that he never ever meant to hurt me, that sometimes we don’t use the right words and just because we don’t mean to hurt, we don’t think we are wrong, and because that we never apologize.
These headshots on the head of this blog post, were taken by him, and I love them! He is the only one that brings out the best in me, the only one the will make me laugh like this, and and even though this aren’t my best shots, are proof of how happy and loved this man make me feel.
Some people wouldn’t share this private and probably insignificant arguments of their relationship, because for them it means nothing. But are you sure that the person you love thinks that same? Everytime my husband and I go through small problems like this, and we make through…I like to celebrate it, because it gives me another reason to fall in love with him all over again. I know that sometimes we let small things like this go, but there will come the time when everything that you keep bottled up inside and just let it go then, one day, it won’t be a “small thing” anymore. Don’t wait until it gets to that point where it is too hard or too late to fix, and don’t waste your time with someone that is hurting you without letting them know that they are. We all deserve to be loved and respected, this is not to try to change the person, it is just letting him or her know what it makes you happy and what hurts you. And if they truly love you they will make their best to make you happy and you will be even happier just with the fact of seeing them try.
I love my husband more that he can imagine, not just because the way that he make me feel loved, but for the way that he fights everyday single day with himself to become a better husband.
Hope this help someone that might have struggled with this. I would love to hear what do you think , and even if you think I am wrong….Please feel free to share those small, tiny and insignificant argues that you think made you relationship stronger that was before.